By New York Times (A reader's comments to a previously run article) - Two of my closest relatives have recently been moved into senior housing, one "indpendent living" the other "assisted living." This was against their wishes, but they simply lost their ability to fight it anymore. Both viewed it as a loss of independence. Both have now conceded that far from taking away their independence they are suddenly far more independent than they were before.

Last winter the independent living resident who had spent her time at home worrying about how to deal with the mounds of snow in her driveway and leaking water from her roof, spent this winter heading a commitee planning an indoor solarium and competing in the water volleyball tournament she organized. The relative who moved to assisted living had an aid comming in to her home...often touted here and other places as a way to achieve the best case scenario of staying at home. But she now admits that having someone stay with her in her home for hours a day made her feel like she was completely dependent.

Now an aide stops by for only an hour in the morning to help her dress and take her medicine. But then for the remainder of the day she, in her words, "does her own thing." She and three friends go to their meals together and together decide what activities to sign up for that day, or choose none and spend time in their own apartments knitting or reading. Last week she spent a day at the Art museum and a night at the Opera and relaxed on her own the rest of the day. A quick trip to the Lobby to get her mail often results in an offer from someone to take a walk or attend an in house lecture or concert.

Before when she was "still at home" she spent her days in her words "having that woman looking at me". Too many people resist a change that would open their worlds. I do not plan to be one of them. Unlike these people who vowed to stay in their homes "until they were carried out feet first" I have no desire to stay in an environment that I know would no longer be appropriate. My children will not have to force me out. I am already planning on the next stage.